When Jimmy Kimmel, who's taping his show live in Brooklyn October 19–23, offered to email us a list of his favorite foods in NYC, we expected a fun, brief take on a few well-known titans of gastronomy.
What we got was an amazingly detailed New York City food manifesto that might as well double as an application to be our dining editor, with old- and new-school picks featuring witty reviews in Kimmel's unmistakable voice. Jimmy, you're hired. Everyone else: read on to find out what the host will be eating while he's in town.
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1424 Avenue J, Midwood, Brooklyn
It's still a schlep, there's still a wait, it's still a hole and the pizza is still the best.
1524 Neptune Ave., Coney Island, Brooklyn
Also great, and they wait on you.
L&B Spumoni Gardens
2725 86th St., Bensonhurst, Brooklyn
Also great, and square.
919 Fulton St., Clinton Hill, Brooklyn
Thin-crust, wood-fired hipster pies. Plus great burgers.
376 Classon Ave., Clinton Hill, Brooklyn
Same as above, but with entrees.
178 Broadway, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
I know, but what are you gonna do? Suck it up and get the porterhouse. Or the burger. [Ed.: the burger is available at lunchtime only.]
72 W. 36th St., Midtown West, Manhattan
Get the mutton chop. Seriously. Just do it.
M. Wells Steakhouse
43-15 Crescent St., Long Island City, Queens
Hit or miss—but when it's on, it's pretty ridiculous.
541 Amsterdam Ave., Upper West Side, Manhattan
Amazing lox, onions and eggs—but unfortunately they won't let you order it. “Too salty,” they'll say. They'll insist you get the nova, onion and eggs instead, which is also fantastic.
Russ & Daughters Cafe
127 Orchard St., Lowest East Side, Manhattan
All that great old-school Jewish “appetizing” deliciousness—now with tablecloths and silverware!
205 E. Houston St., Lower East Side, Manhattan
I'll have what everyone's having. Don't forget to order it “lean.”
53 Bond St., NoHo, Manhattan, and 97A Hoyt St., Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
This is technically not pastrami—it's Montreal-style dry-cured brisket. Plus poutine!
3 E. 52nd St., Midtown East, Manhattan
What fine dining used to be before the yuppies ruined everything.
94 Chambers St., TriBeCa, Manhattan
Chef Duca has a Michelin star, and he will show it to you if you ask.
17 Mott St., Chinatown, Manhattan
Where else are you going to go at 3am?
Mission Chinese Food
171 E. Broadway, Lower East Side, Manhattan
I would come from San Francisco to eat here.
195 Grand St., Little Italy, Manhattan
Cannoli masters. Bet you can't eat just four.
386 Flatbush Ave. Ext., Downtown Brooklyn
They have cheesecake here.
623 Vanderbilt Ave., Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, plus other locations
Salted crack caramel ice cream. So good they had to close four days after opening because they ran out of ice cream.
2901 Emmons Ave., Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn
The only roast beef sandwich shop in New York City with a memorial to my Uncle Frank.
248 Mulberry St., NoLIta, Manhattan
Meatball parm sandwich is very tasty.
Meat Hook Sandwich Shop
495 Lorimer St., Williamsburg, Brooklyn
They used to have a sandwich called the Cannibal: 100% grass-fed Williamsburg hipster. Hairy, but delicious.
378 Metropolitan Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn
These hipsters also make good sandwiches.
1310 Surf Ave., Coney Island, Brooklyn
Great dogs, and the crinkle fries with the little red pitchfork.
Bark Hot Dogs
474 Bergen St., Park Slope, Brooklyn
Pork and beef basted in lard butter. Also 100% beef, hold the lard butter. Plus shakes and/or beer.
235 Mulberry St., NoLIta, Manhattan
Oh my God, it's lasagna.
85 Tenth Ave., Meatpacking District, Manhattan
Oh my God, it's Mario Batali.
Randazzo's Clam Bar
2017 Emmons Ave., Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn
Fried calamari with hot sauce and hard roll.
Mary's Fish Camp
64 Charles St., West Village, Manhattan
Fried clam roll with celery root remoulade.
465 W. 51st St., Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan
[The falafel-making proprietor] has mellowed out a little and is still the best by a long shot. Also for chicken shawarma.
119 MacDougal St., Greenwich Village, Manhattan
Actually, there is no new-school falafel. But this is very good old-school falafel and has lots of new-school customers.
400 Seventh Ave., Park Slope, Brooklyn
Crisp and chewy like a bagel should be, not fluffy like a bread doughnut.
Black Seed Bagels
170 Elizabeth St., NoLIta, Manhattan
Each bagel is artisanal, hand rolled, boiled in honey water and given a little kiss before baking.
Other places Jimmy likes to eat in NYC
113 MacDougal St., Greenwich Village, Manhattan
Frankies Spuntino 457
457 Court St., Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
314 W. 11th St., West Village, Manhattan
243 Dekalb Ave., Fort Greene, Brooklyn
194 Elizabeth St., NoLIta, Manhattan
54 E. 1st St., East Village, Manhattan